The Institution of Marriage and Civil Unions are larger oxymorons than Jumbo Shrimp and Military Intelligence.

Lay down your arms hetero role models as the storming of the Institute continues. We (the GayAgendists)'ve have seized the moat and are making our way up the parapet. I speak metaphorically of your Institution of Marriage. I liken it to a traditional institution like the Bastille or Arkham Asylum or even Shawshank; some people are better off residing there, and some are not. I would even go so far as to say that roaches check in, but they don't check out. Striving for equality, we have taken to the woods of the union, New England, and are coming for your traditional values. We will have the right to be/be made miserable. We will lawfully have someone by our side to make sure we get returned to the earth right side up or sprinkled on a lawn. We will enjoy the same tax credits breeders get and we will have the ability to insist our friends come to lavish us with gifts and flattery on an inconvenient date at an inconvenient localle in our wedding celebration.

We will wed as you have shown us it's bounty Larry King, Brittney, Pam, Michael Jackson. You have shown us the sanctity of it Tom, we pray that Theta will allow us the couch to jump in proclamation on. We will approach it with the humor of Liza and David, knowing what will be, will be. We know that breedermarriages end in a fifty percent divorce rate, so we really can't do much worse now can we? If we really screw up maybe someday we too will be in with the Pope so that after a nice donation we can afford an anullment and just claim it never existed. "Dream on" you may say, but we have and look where we're at today.

But a Civil Union? The path of true love ne'er did run smooth. I love the fact that the title to this crumb that politicians have thrown us implies that we should conduct ourselves in a certain manner. 'Civil' defined can mean 'relating to the state' and also 'adequate in manners'. Show me any straight relationship when ending ends civily and I'll let you choose a cupie doll from the top shelf. South Africa has approved Same Sex Marriage. They join the Netherlands, Spain, Belgium, Canada and of course Massachusetts. Europe roils in the joy that our community brings and lets couples suffer just like straight people, now that's equality; pain and suffering. We may be civil, and avoid the suffering. Crazy, I say. See the photo of the happy governor of New Jersey signing his Civil Unions bill today, Dec. 21st? See the photo of the happy governor of Connecticut signing her Civil Unions bill on April 20, 2005? See the photo of the happy governor of Vermont discussing his Civil Unions Bill that he signed into law on April 26, 2000? We are seizing the union at it's root, not by love and mutual respect but by New England, where the real Union was founded. Our straight role models have had enough trouble with Values, I'm sure they won't be on top of their geography either.