A-Holes, B-Sides, C-Words, D-Lists, and N-Words; How Can We Abrevi-Hate?

Michael Richards' recent tirade at the Laugh Factory has touched off a firestorm of intergalactic vocabulary lessons that the world cannot seem to avoid, with Jesse Jackson on your side how can you space out in class? The comedian made an a-hole out of himself using d-list slurs on the b-side of his show. He was being heckled by some rowdy Angelenos and resorted to not so g-rated material. The phonevideo of the event was made an e-vent on Sunday and spread across the internet like wildfire. Not all the 'sorries' in the world could make Michael right again. To combat this f-up of e-normous proportions, Jesse Jackson has come to counsel Michael and promote the Removal Of The N-Word. The nulification of the word will lead us to peace. Color me kooky, how can this work? How can we censor society?

Do we have the tools as a society to avoid that word? Do we have mental OnStar that will alert us to that perilous public pothole? We do, it's our sense of morality, but unfortunately for most it's faultily wired. Imposing a Think Before You Speak commandment might better beehoove us as a people and really change the world. Just imagine by imposing this Orderly Ordinance, people would have to process information and react appropriately. Anger mgmt seminars would be bust, roadrage would be gone, families would enjoy the holidays and heterosexual marriages would live up to their commitments. We could call it Tact B4 Act, and thereby abbrevi-hate.

Maybe we can abbreviate the nastiness like we did with that other little ditty from the Middle Ages "For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge" or even "To Insure Proper Service" and spare our future generations the pain of social discourse. Maybe by dropping it to the N-Word, we can nullify it's impact and forget that it ever existed like a Q-tip. Identify the hate, shrink it, and throw away it's hurtfulness; we are the Disposable Society are we not? Maybe instead of censoring society we can proofread it. Ask any youngster on the street (note their I-pod) the meaning of D-Day and see I'm right.

Maybe we can all own up to our place in this society and move forward. If we could do away with hate, we'd end up with vibrant intelligent comedy fraught with witty banter with the crowd. We'd actually use baseball bats for their original purpose. White sheets would hang on the line and 3k's would mean three strikes in baseball. F the N-Word, Down With The H-Word.