Thursday, July 29, 2010

Pink.

In the pink: meaning to be of good health/demeanor.
Pink's: one of my fave hot dog venues

Pink: rock's unabashed angst princess

pink: the best anti car theft deterrent on the market.


It has been deduced that cars painted a bright shade are the least likely to be stolen. This explains the enormous success of the Mary Kay Cosmetic Commandos. That bright shade on your lips is directly related to the bright shade of the Grand Am parked adjacent your co-op. How funny is that?
The gay pirate is a little rosette for the post.

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Friday, July 23, 2010

National Hot Dog Day!

It's no secret I'm a fan of wieners. Big fan. Big wieners. To me they say, 'summer' and 'americana'. Remember the old slogan, baseball, hot dogs, apple pie and Chevrolet (even though that sounds french) The Hot dog industry has named July as National Hot Dog month and July 23nd as National Hot Dog Day. I also adore obscure holidays; International Talk like a Pirate Day, Melonball Thursday and am so happy to have found my new fave. The Dog Days of Summer, indeed.



The month begins with the Annual Coney Island Hot Dog Eating contest brought to you by Nathans Famous. My dear friend Joey Chestnut pulled another victory out of his solo cup by eating an astounding 54 HDB's in ten minutes. (hot dog and buns eaten) I know this because, I was there. Well, not physically, but spiritually. I was at friends holiday (July 4th) BBQ in Panorama City getting ready to have my third dog of the day. I was chatting up a very nice lady with tons of BoSox paraphernalia adorning her. I assumed my new besty was gay as she was checking her iPhone for sports feed. Straight, not narrow. She stumbled onto the results of this years competition and I implored her to give me more. When hearing of Kobayashi being arrested at the event I swooned. Kobabyashi is Chestnuts #1 competitor. Long and the short of it (pun intended) is K wasn't registered with the Federation that governs the sport and rushed the stage. High Drama among buns and lemonade. Arrested, hanging on to a rail like a child. Swoon.



See, I have an affinity for this event rising. I look forward to the Fourth Of July just for this very contest. Independence is nice, but wieners don't care who you marry. I remember my first seeing the televised event on ESPN when I was at work one night. My colleagues amazed I could actually be silenced by something on ESPN for that long a time. I was mesmerized by the depravity of my favortie activity and bastardizing it as a competition. I love to eat. I live to eat. I workout like a demon so I can eat more. Sometimes I awaken in the night to eat if I know that there's something special calling to me. Like a mermaid the sushi sings, Pavaroti draws me to the container of pasta leaving past roommates sighing knowing their leftovers when put into the fridge, "will never see the light of day." It's a sport governed by it's own Federation with by laws and dues. I cringe/cheer every time I get to hear one of the competitors resume. You don't know someone until you know how many crab cakes someone can put down. Or pounds of pasta. Or oysters. Would I want to have them for dinner? Probably not. Would I watch them on TV with the earnest love of a six-year old? Abso-freaking-lutely. Competitive Eating? Get out of here....


So get out there and grab yourselves a sausage with relish and succour. In La La Land, there are plenty of choices from Dodger Dogs to my personal fave Pinks. I encourage you to get out there and try it, it's a wonderful holiday and I think you'll enjoy it. National Hot Dog Day, not for the weak of heart, and a sport in some towns. If you are what you eat.....I am a hot dog.

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Monday, July 19, 2010

RuPaul's Jealous Of My Boogie (featuring Tyra Sanchez, Raven and Jujubee

Love me some RuPaul Drag Race! And the new show tonite, Drag U. aaaaaahhhhh Pride.

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Follow up to yesterday.

Kathy and Levi are officially over. Someone just told Sarah that he and Bristol are back at it, and someone just told Kathy. Comedy's never pretty, but Kathy's new target is................

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

More Kool-Aid, Levi??

(Cue deep-throated v/o actor....)

In a world plagued with Mel Gibson's leaked abusive phone calls fraught with rage and hate, where a mask can so often hide a seamy underbelly you don't know where to put your faith first. In a world where there is so much unrest how is it feasible that latest greatest 'lone wolf' this side of Lenny Koznowski has given up rebel status to resume roll of lap dog. How can the greatest break-out artist this side of Houdini deny his fans their base? I'm talking about Levi here. Is there nothing more comfortable in Life than a nicely broken in pair of Levis? Levi Johnston, ex to Kathy Griffith, scourge to the ex-governor of Alaska. Levi Johnston former Playgirl model and advocate for 'doing it his way' has returned to Bristol, which in CT is boring and entered into his son's life. I'm glad on this front that he is being responsible, but facts are facts.........there must be some Kool aid involved.


I love that when he entered the world's stage he was a moose shooting, snowmobile working, chaw chewin' alaskan redneck. He knocked up the governors daughter and was unrepentant, at least until the republican party shut down his MySpace (remember that old thing) next day he was in Banana Republic threads waving to the crowd with a cheesy grin flossed with an act of contrition. Who is this? This is not what we saw in last week's edition of 15 Minute's, and Ticking. I loved his shit eating grin the moment I saw it and when I saw that he had a Fake-over (kind of like a make over but more like image rape) I thought to myself "they got to him". And when the unified front fell apart and he ran for the snow I found myself in the company of many others, cheering him on. When the criticism started he did what any other would do....threaten a tell-all and make the talk circuit rounds. Want to top this off with a nude spread and maybe a clothing line??? Fantastic, keep the train going. But shows over, baby daddy is handing over the reigns.

Kool Aid happens when a strong personality does a 180 degree turn and finds themselves eating all the words they threw out in their road of discourse. It's a rapid departure from the expected. The hunter becomes the hunted and what would have been a bearer becomes the trophy. It sucks. Kool Aid is an invisible solution that turns Mr Hyde into Dr Jekyll. The expression comes from the horrible events in Guyana where cult leader Jim Jones forced his followers into a massive suicide pact and the children in the cult were made to drink poisoned Kool Aid to follow the sinister mission. How excited is the Kraft company that there former innocuous little treat became synonymous with kid's suicide?Even more so to now have it's product link to insanity causing. Because that's what this expression says to me. When I see a drastic change in a behavior that is so contrary to what I'd witnessed prior I can't help but explain it with the Kool Aid theory. I think I do this as a time saver really. It's all about saving time nowadays anywhoo. I marvel at people's ability to morph.
I send my best to our lost "Lone Wolf" and wishhim all the success in the world. Their little Trip is lucky to have two parents and he's lucky to be insulated from the full influence of that woman. Maybe this will work out for the best I love a good sequel. A good one. Not one drenced in Kool Aid and smelling of shotgun powder. Poor Levi, broken in and not to be let out of sight ever again. I can only imagine the ribbing he'll take at the holidays, but I trust he'll be able to give as good as he gets. His track record suggests that he had a set of stones at one time.

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Thursday, July 01, 2010

Rabbit, rabbit.

Currently am house sitting in SMonica and loving life on the westside,

".....ode to be young and independently wealthy...."

So much fun to be close to the beach with a fabulous pup named Radar. Radar has more energy than a power plant and doesn't know the word 'quit'. I was ready to invoke my favorite chant to start the month with a bevy of good luck when I was awoken by him and questioned, wearily "....wuz goin' onnnn???..." stay tuned.





And this couldn't be planned, it's Canada Day! On the heels of my last post, tee hee tee hee!

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