US Open.

As Agassi retires, I repell. I am embarking on a ten to fourteen day cleanse. A return to arms, if you will. I am accepting the Master Cleanse by Stanley Burroughs, a diet of lemonade. The beverage of choice is a concoction of maple syrup, water, fresh lemon juice and cayenne pepper. Supposedly it's all the nutritional value I will need and you can exist on this for as long as forty days. I don't think I will set up residence as long as that. If you know me you know that I supercede the 85% human body is water quotient for being more like 96%. I love me my cocktails. I love me my pasta for that matter or as matter may go, I love me my food. I am forgoing all of that and my daily vitamins to purge my system of iniquities. I know that somewhere in the recesses of my colon is part of a filet that I ingested at some straight couples wedding while dancing the Macarena. It's there, I heard Cher, and now its merde. I am in the throws of Burroughs. I intend to document the cruelty here for your enter-tailment. And mine.
This time, it's personal.

I know that you will find this entertainment. It's like taking amusement in someone's pain, schadenfreude, you cant help but smile. Like watching a slinky come down the stairs, not really worth a lot but you can't help but smile. I look forward to the amusement, and the enlightenment, as my digestive tract gets a broom cleaning. My love has bought a pizza for my debaucherous goodnite to substance. With mushrooms, and a larger size than he would normally buy, I am saying goodbye to substance. A bottle of Stoli also plays a significant role. My man rules. I am an amazing man, and Joe is better. Nuff.

I swill Stoli, eat pizza, and smoke my last Marlboro Light and prepare for the day, tommorrow, that I purge. I pity anyone in my way that is uninformed, underdressed, and unapreciative of what life is. I will make someone cry, and I hope it's not you. The grapes of wrath is coming, out of my colon, but tune in for daily updates, cuz it should be a lu-lu.

xoxoxoooxoxooxooxo

madman in noho