Beaufort Scale, beaumonde, boll weevil, evil, chervil.

The wind is howling today in LA. The trees are contorting and doing things that make an observer believe there is yoga in heaven. The wind is active maybe because it has no home. Since the Democrats took back the House and installed it's first Female Speaker Of The House, the wind is looking for a new dwelling. If you were to measure the strength of the wind you might use the The Beaufort Scale which rates from 0-12 the force of the wind. O being calm and 12 being a devestating hurricane. Today in LA I'd say we were at a 7, a moderate gale.

Beaumonde refers to the world of high society and fashion. "Many of the Beaumonde find themselves lost, when parallel parking themselves on Rodeo Drive. " They too have a strong degree of wind blowing that effects society. I have a jar of beaumonde seasoning at the back of my spice cabinet that I'm not too sure what to do with. I may take it to Beverly Hills and release it into the air so that it may be free among fashion and high society. And if it gets stuck in the coiffed, buffed, plucked, f*cked, tanned, and Canne'd hoi poloi with their toy parallel parking, so much the better. The wind is howling today in LA.

The moderate gale blows actively through the Valley. If the tree surgeons hadn't made their housecall this week, all that dead stuff in the courtyard would have been schrapnel. The wind is howling I tell you. All the boll weevils on the undersides of the rhodies are clinging for parasitic life. Like annorexic Malibumoms clinging to a Range Rover, these nasty little vipers will devour a plant by it's boll or it's leaves. They especially like cotton. Weevil's warble (in the wind) but they don't slow down.

It would be evil to pelt the wealthy with dried seasonings or weevils. Maybe we shouldn't hold doors for people when it's this windy and just let them snap back at the people behind us. That's evil.

Chervil is another seasoning I'm not sure what to do with. But I'm sure an idea will come soon. I'll listen to the wind for a while.