Rabbit, rabbit

Here we are again. Another month and another summer. June never seems to exist in my minds eye. It's like I'm facing May one minute, getting all hot and bothered for the summer rising when the June rug is pulled out from underneath me and I'm staring at ads for 4Th of July and then Back to School ads. Usually it just flies by me but I'm determined to enjoy this year's. (And very intrigued...)

Can you believe we begin a new era on the roads of Southern California? Just when you get used to the traffic and the gun fire and the inability of people to drive in the rain; we're thrown a new curve. As of July 1st we have been liberated from our hand held cell phones. It's illegal to be driving and talking on the cell phone without a hands-free device. I look at it very Trekkian, If you have Uhura on deck to open your hailing frequencies neatly it clears the way for Sulu's photon torpedoes. (PS George Takeii, congrats on last months wedding to Mr Altman-'Live Long and Prosper) The business of looking down, dialing, redialing, looking up numbers etc will be eliminated. Right. This is so people may better focus on the task at hand-driving. Right. People weren't focused on this before cell phones, I'm not sure how this is going to be better. People make the most of their time in the car in LA. Conversations on the phone are just the tip of the iceberg of what happens in between point a and point b.

I have seen some of the gnarliest (you heard me, gnarliest) sitcoms that happen in my neighboring fishbowls du traffique. Truly, Comedia Del Car(t). I've seen a woman style her hair, apply lip product, pluck, blend and jugze her eyelashes while chatting up her toddler child in the car seat behind her. I've seen crossword enthusiasts ala 'Sideways' both in pen and pencil. I saw a man most recently alternate a rapid feeding between his soda and his Tupperware of pasta. I once saw a very small car merge onto the highway with the driver white-knuckling the steering wheel. This was as a backseat passenger was coming up and over the seat to get into the front so to better instruct the driver in the rules of the road. All this was happening with four other passengers in the car including the SCREAMING Grandmother currently occupying the front seat. It was as if the windows were tinted and airbrushed with 'The Scream' as a wrap-around. People will always find things to do in their car to busy themselves; talk, poke, yell, curse, masturbate, drink, smoke, eat, cry, sing, scratch, sniff, clean, spit, stretch, exercise, write and wrong their neighboring drivers. People are multitaskers these days.

My point, and I'll make it so I can make some phone calls sbefore I get on the road. Is that now that we've freed the hands have we opened up the Devil's Workshop? What's the left hand to be doing getting reacquainted with the right. Will we go back to a stoic world of "Ten and Two" with our hands on the wheel at all times and are eyes fixed forward. Will car to car gunfire be reduced with the advent of better driving? Will the lion lie down with the lamb? Will traffic jams go the way of analog television. Maybe we're on the precipice of a new land of peace and harmony that our FREEways will embody. Right. I see this happening about as much as I see JLo cruising Ventura Blvd looking for Mr Cecil's Ribs. That actually happens once or twice a year, she can never find it and is always on the phone calling for cross streets. I am optomistic though. I intend on making the best of this. At least with one hand free I have one for the steering wheel and the other for sign language.