Lightning Strikes.

Who'd have thought that we'd have such and uproar over comicbooks and so many actors running to play heros they'd worshipped growing up. Remember when the trend was for straight actors to want to play gay roles? Now everyone wants to be in tights.

Red Alert, literally. Word on the street is that New Line Pictures executives are looking to find themselves a superhero franchise and are talking with Jake Gyllenhaal about playing Captain Marvel. You know the hero with the gold lame and jaunty one shoulder cape, that one. Oh he's the one who jumpstarts his being by looking to the heavens and shouting "SHAZAM!!!" This has a lot of the same warning bells that the Halle Berry/Catwoman movie had. Idea, Star, Contract, Movie, Premiere- whoops, did anyone remember to find a script? Here we go, get ready for a whole new school of jokes coming down the mountain.

Season's Tidings.

The lovely Miss Judy Landers and Madame would like to send their best and breast holiday greetings. Madame loved a good time and had a tv program in the early eighties that formed many a young mo's mind. Miss Landers loved the early eighties when she had a career and many a good time.

Merry Christmas from Spatagram and all it's staff. Hope a couple of sexy puppets find their way into your holiday season or at least on to your hands.

Pan, Pandemic, Pandering, Panties, part three.

Pan ran, flitted and flirted. The fawn-god ran in and out of the white hot spotlight showing his wares everywheres. Throughout the land tongues wagged almost as hard as the dogs were wagged. "What be this?". "Could it be?" . "I've always thought". "Why would Pan be with those guys, unless....?". There really is a sucker born every minute. Sort of speaking. The media querried, the townspeople worried, and the spin queeried. As the dust settled Pan was pleased with smoke and mirrors job. You really can't pay for this kind of advertising, and if you can score some workout tips, even better. Pan was pleased that the townspeople could sit-up and watch, living vicariously through the friends sittups. Pan was especially happy that the townspeople could speak, no one likes to be forgotten. Creating attention to his new playmates and their upcoming parties was all it was. Now the jocks can hang up theirs, kick back, drink mojitos, and laugh that it was all worth it. It was a mutual beneficial alliance really. They may even make a movie about it.

Pan, Pandemic, Pandering, Panties, part two.

Pan, the goat legged god, frolicked the day away. Making merry, and margaritas, his hilarity found it's sway from the Staples Center for the Espy awards to Malibu's PCH. Armani and Diesel, flashbulbs and flashers, Pan turned and smiled and embraced the attention. A sensation spread in the land at how well he looked and that he must be keeping new company. Speculation sizzled as the new company was very stylish and witty (with a trim waist and developed abs, natch). They have words for company like that. Pan bathed in his buzz and the pandemic arose. At the awards ceremony Espys honored the autistic basketball player, Jason McElwain , who's amazing 20 points in the final moments of the game is still one of the best videos to watch. The recipent was moved by the adulation and the shiny trophy and celebrated the moment with the trophy in his mouth. When irony meats freudian, can there be safety for anyone?

Malibu's Pacific Coast Hwy allows bicyclists some lovely vistas and a rambling workout. Pan celebrated the marine beauty (more irony) with his new company on such a jaunt. Spandex is a privellage and not a right as so many people tend to believe. Pan looks happy in this new pack. No one can really hear any bad things that are being said about them or he when they see how shiny and pretty they are all together. A triumverate has been formed where the talent meats the iron. The three together are one unit that smoothly moves amongst people, gracefully leaving good natured, cowboy warmth. Negative press? No thanks, benchpress maybe. Is this considered pandering? Damn skippy. But who cares, just look at them.

Some people are wearing shiny yellow bits of jewelry. They were very popular recently. The jewelry marks their commitment to life and

celebration of all things that make you strong. Most people wear them where they can be seen, but not Pan. Pan has no need for following tradition, it doesnt always move fast enough for him. As an emissary of Life, he has important things to do. Nature can't always wait for Nurture, ultimately it's all about the survival of the fittest. Time marches on and you can march or atrophy. Pan marches and sometimes throws his baton high in the air. It may be pandemic, it may be pandering, but there's talk that his bracelet is doubling as a ring, and is under his panties. But that's just talk, and people will always talk.