All Hallow's.

I love this holiday! I have been dressing up for as long as I can remember, and now it's actually encouraged. I remember growing up that we had Hallow's decorations that we'd saved from year to year, and piecemeal costume parts as well. There were too many of us that we had to use what was on hand. In comparison to the tidy, filing away that the christmas decorations got, Halloween's were in a ghetto coat box with a lid that didn't stay on, but some how stuck to the treasure. Inside the box were a remnant of a Grant's (local dept store) make-up kit, a ripped green witch mask with the gnarliest (get it, gnarl) of hair attached, several half-pieces of Caldor costumes, and one righteous vampire cape from the head shoppe in Rocky Hill.
Every year we tried to come up with something from this spice rack to produce art.
I remember being:

A Skeleton.
A Vampire.
A Pirate.
Spiderman.
Frankenstein.
Annie Lennox.
& a Mummy.

Since then, growing up (tbd) has lead me to more creative costumes:

Rudolph Valentino.
The Grim Reaper.
Tony The Tiger.
Man With The Yellow Hat.
Blue Man Group.
& Charlie Brown.

Ain't it funny how the more things change, the more they get weird?

Be safe, and scary.

Gaps on so many levels, part two (boo)

Can you dig this? The annual Forbes' Most Successful Dead Celebrities List. Spatagram brought you last years list with Curt Kobain topping the list. Truth be told and books be sold, that was only because his crazed widow had sold off a good part of his catalogue to incredible wealth. I really dig that there are thirteen participants. Well, I think we know who the true King of the Underworld is.........

1. Elvis Presley (£29m)

2. John Lennon (£22m)

3. Charles M. Schulz (£17.5m)

4. George Harrison (£11m)

5. Albert Einstein (£9m)

6. Andy Warhol (£7.5m)

7. Dr. Seuss (Theodor Geisel) (£7.5m)

8. Tupac Shakur (£4.5m)

9. Marilyn Monroe (£3.5m)

10. Steve McQueen (£3m)

11. James Brown (£2.5m)

12. Bob Marley (£2m)

13. James Dean (£1.7m)

Groak.

To stare at someone adoringly is romantic and sweet; to stare at something desirous with full intention of taking possession of the item is called groaking.

The original definition for groaking is to stare at people dining in expectations of being invited. Doing an undergraduate program as a theatre major, most of us learned groaking first hand. I had no idea on how my inner-dog could come to the surface. Most of us have an inner-child that we relentlessly try to capture thru therapy, acting majors live there and develop and inner-dog which escapes thru our behavior and morals. We eat with our eyes and groaking is our RSVP.

Sista Sal once opened a christmas present of a fleecy, lamb's wool textured, lightweight, black jacket that wasn't even in her hands for a second before yours truly, standing right behind her, absconded the coat. It's still in my possession seven years later, by the by. I'd like to think that this was a form of groaking, but I can't be sure. I'd to just rule it out as petty larceny because I'd rather be charged with something real, and Tom is the only Petty I know. I saw the coat and began eating with my eyes, felt the soft texture on my body and knew that the weight of the coat was magical. It completely lived up to my expectations and seeing the drool pouring from my fetid mouth holiday joy in my eyes, Sista Sal resigned herself to losing said coat without so much as a "how do you do". I'm not sure if that's the right expression, but I liked using it. The coat makes for good year round wearing, a pillow, a nice towel, an untested parachute, a conversation piece and a tablecloth. It was barely off my body in 2000. The coat was the predecessor for the purple corduroy coat I took from the GM at the restaurant. Again, the eyes went wide in a frenzy of groak, and in an act of charity the coat was presented to it's true owner, me. I groak, therefore I'm warm.

My groaking isn't even intentional. It's so primal that I can't stifle it. I'm very tactile and LOVE texture. When something of interest appeals to my eyes, my fingers can't be far behind (really that's my excuse in many a social situation). I find I can only groak with clothing, I don't want to groak where foods concerned. I used to be so self-conscious of this when dining out with J. I'd eat more rapidly than he and then begging scouring the table for my more food. When my eyes would make their way to his plate, I'd inevitably look up to make eye contact with him. He'd offer me some of his food, but I would feel unclean. I made an effort to limit this groaking of food when my inner-dog would jump out of his kennel to run around the restaurant. Sit. Heel. Good boy.

To a t, or shirting the issue.

It's Saturday and it's laundry time. There is no set day that I do this task, there is no rhyme or reason to how I do any of the mundane tasks required of all of us. The basket was full and the floor catching excess. Trot down to the room with my loads and over stuff the machines. Half and hour later, begin the drying process. Forty five minutes later reclaim my bounty/booty and fold to the magical sounds of FoodTV. My techniques for folding are all my own. A cross of choreography similar to Judo and influenced by the Gap. Wrinkles aren't an issue as space is usually. I don't own and iron and probably should as I am thirtysomething. I don't care much. The folding ensued and the end product was startling. There were over twenty t-shirts. Nigh upon thirtysomething (there's that word again). How many t-shirts are too many?

"Why do I have so many t-shirts?" began my thought process. Do I change clothes this frequently during the week? Am I this impulsive? Where did they all come from? I began to analyze the contents of the equation. Some t-shirts were mementos in a souvenir fashion; some vacation spot visited or visited for me. Some t-shirts were just for humor, whether risque or not. There were t-shirts to look nice in, a fashion souvenir if you will. Some were hallmarks to moments in my life that could evoke great memories. Certain were for 'Fat Days' and others were for 'Feeling Skinny Days'. Some were just old, and their purpose forgotten but the nostalgia was great enough to prevent their being thrown away. Some were just old, and their purpose forgotten, but the fabric was so soft and perfectly broken in to prevent their being thrown away. The great majority had very little practical impact on my day to day wearings but there they were. How did this happen? (photo credit; emiliewood.com)

I polled the most pertinent in my tree; my three confidants, a metrosexual, an uber straight guy, a fashionista, an athlete, a musician, a gay man, a lesbian, a sister and a whackadoo. All agreed that 30 was around the proper number to have, and that more is More. They told me that the t-shirt was the foundation for many an outfit, as well as many a situation. It was perfect for the market, the park, and even the gallery opening if accessorised properly. Many launched into stories of t's that they couldn't ever do without with push button speed. Many had no remorse to the shelves, boxes, drawers and counter tops they had that housed their wares/wears. Everyone concluded that t-shirts were as necessary as clean underwear and that an ample supply was to be encouraged. I wondered if this was strictly a pop cultural thing that began with the clever little iron-on t-shirts that surfaced in the seventies. Or if it was a changing of the guard since the generation before us wore white t's and tank t's ('wife beaters' as slang for a piece of clothing is as thoughtless as 'retarded' is for underdeveloped, or 'gay' is for a situation that doesn't even involve homosexuality) dating back as far as the first World War. (photo credit Life)

The concept of underwear came into existence at the turn of the century. American soldiers noticed that their European comrades were sporting lightweight cotton, short-sleeved shirts under their uniforms that provided comfort and coolness. They were quickly copied in the United States and by 1920 Webster's recorded T-Shirt as a part of the English Language. The pocket less, round necked, button less jersey became extremely popular in 1955 when actor James Dean wore one slightly covered by another shirt in "Rebel Without A Cause". The t-shirt became a contemporary symbol of rebellious youth. By the eighties and the nineties the t-shirt became a commentator on contemporary society. In the two thousands, the t-shirt became a commodity in cyberspace and available in any manner or shape. (photo credit monroe gallery)

As I began loading my third drawer in my bureau I felt at ease that these garments were supposed to be the most numerous item in your wardrobe outnumbering even underwear and socks. Three drawers was expected and as long as there was space in the drawer to "shop" for the perfect shirt to wear that day, thirtysomething would suit me to a T.

Magus.

Yes true believers, my latest horror film culture contribution is making the festival rounds. Turningpoint Films presents John Lechago's Magus; a story of endings and new beginnings. An evil force is let loose to wreak havoc and a warrior must re-learn the ways of magic. I play the sleezy motel clerk, renting a room to an evil wizard and sexily dressed henchwoman. Seeing is believing and this film will make a believer out of you.


It was recently in Chicago (I saw a man dance with his wife there) at their Horror Film Festival, and played the first weekend to raves and rants. Crack me up.


You can watch one of the unofficial trailers here.

Because, because, because, because, because.

Friday night. Carnegie Hall. Full house. J.K. Rowling on her "Open Book" Tour, the first of it's kind in many years, answers a simple question from a young fan. Her answer will leave the literary world, and the philistines, in turmoil for most of the week (my homework in Divinination says so) The fan queeries whether or not Dumbledore finds "true love". Rowling replies that "Dumbledore is gay". She elaborates that in his youth he was smitten with rival wizard Gellert Grindelwald and how the relationship was dashed in a battle of good and evil wizards. "Falling in love can blind us to an extent," Rowling said, and commented that Dumbledore was left "horribly, terribly let down." In addition to the tremendous literary series she gave to modern culture, in addition to the jump start she gave to get children reading, in addition to this pop culture phenomena, she has given us a positive gay role model. I'm sure there's a phat marketing plan behind this woman but I'm glad the GLBT community is empowered in it. Ms. Rowling has described the Harry Potter series as a "prolonged argument for tolerance". I want to find out where to send a proper thank you note, as generostiy such as this can not be overlooked.

Illustration credit Gina Pitkanen (RavnHearts)

Aesthetics, Anesthesia, Anastasia, S.

Aesthetics is a branch of Philosophy concerning itself with the study of sensory values. This refers to judgements of sentiment values and/or taste. Aesthetics are regularly identified with Art Philosophy. Aristotle wrote the Poetics with the concerns of the aesthetics of Poetry. The symmetry and the value of it's symmetry could be measured as well as appreciated. An aesthetician can not only be one who is versed in art and the line of beauty they are also technicians schooled in beauty treatments such as manicures, pedicures and dermabrasion. Aesthetics deliver beauty to the senses in a streamlined, expeditious manner.

Anesthesia is regularly mispronounced. I, among the masses, keep making the T a hard sound. (an-NESS-tee-zuhh) How silly I've been. The correct pronunciation is A-niss-thee-zuhh. Take a letter Maria. It was discovered by an anxious young dentist named Horace Wells in Hartford, CT. He and his wife were attending a theatre performance on the night of December 10, 1844. A man named Gardner Q. Colton was demonstrating the many mood variations that could occur to people under the effects of gases. One test subject was the local clerk from the pharmacy Sam Cooley. Dr Wells interviewed Cooley after the show to find if a leg injury he'd sustained during the performance had been felt. Finding that he gas' subjects were rendered 'euphoric' Wells scrambled to find his colleague John Riggs. The very next day Riggs, Colton, Cooley and Wells removed a decaying mollar from Wells under this new procedure of nitrus oxide sedation. Upon the success of the extraction, Wells proclaimed 'a new era of dentistry' had arrived. It's interesting to me how fast anesthesia works, no sooner do you count back from five when the next thing you know they're placing your credit card receipt into your hands. I recently had my wisdom teeth removed and I don't feel any less smart (ass). I was counting back and before you can say "Alvin and the Chipmunks", I was seeing the light of day as the orderly was forcing me out of the treatment room. The procedure was done and I was in pain. Holy Hannah, I couldn't even chew a banana. I should have asked for the good stuff, I didn't want the well.

Grand Duchess Anastasia Nicholaevna Romanova was the second youngest of the last imperial family of Russia. Her parents Nicholas II and Alexandra were the tsars to fall in the Russian Revolution, as the country revolted due to a poor economy, political unrest and the rise of communism. The royal family were imprisoned for nearly eighty days in a suburb to the capital of St Petersburg under military rule. On the night of July 16, 1918 the family was awoken and brought to the basement of the house where they were executed. Older sisters Olga, Tatiana, Maria and younger brother Alexei were all slain in a hail of bullets with their parents and four servants. So much superstition revolves around this evening. There have been many claims that Anastasia and maybe one other sister survived. Rumor goes that she and the sister had diamonds sewn into the bodice of their dresses to secure the family some wealth in the dark days, and that during the execution, bullets had bounced off them, and ricocheted to kill assassins. The bodies were eventually moved to a pit near by and it's location kept secret as fears were mounting over the executions and it's problems. The assassination of Tsarina Alexandra confidant Rasputin and it's problems were legendary. According to rumor, it was from this pit, the princesses escaped.

The mystery surrounding the lost princess Anastasia has been voluminous, inspiring many fables, movies, books and even Disney. In 1997 Disney released Anastasia, the problematic little story of the lost Russian princess with Meg Ryan as her speaking voice and Liz Callaway as her singing.

S stands for Spatagram, which you've just read. Now don't you feel tingly?

Natal Anniversary.

I promise that this will be an isolated incident. Two days of man-pandering is not what Spatagram is all about. Spatagram's purpose in this forum is to introduce as many new words as possible. It's purpose is to re-write the New Testament as the Next Testament, a fair and just tome for All God's creatures. It's purpose is to be the kindling under the conservative base to create the witchfire to claim Ann Coulter. Unfortunately in two days time, to bastions of hot have fallen into this bloggers lap, forcing me to stand up and salute. I promise this to be an isolated incident...................unless it brings be a butt load of comments and hits.


This childs birthday is twenty years ago today. Careful all area bartenders, not to be serving the star of High School Musical 1 and 2, The WB tv show Summerland, and film smash Hairspray cocktails as he's not elligible for another 365. J and I agreed that we felt a wee bit creepy, warming to this (then) minor. As the groundswell progressed we too got carried away in the latest sensation in teenybopperdom. Rolling Stone magazine itself proclaimed him the hottest thing under twenty, in a long time.

Twenty years ago I was a sophmore in a dorm room in a college in the woods. I was crewing costumes for 'Sweeny Todd', slamming Absolut and Sprite shots, and listening to Annie Lennox. Wow. Not much has changed.



Happy Birthday Zachary David Alexander Efron.



Buy you a latte?

Waaaaaahhh, Ricky! Why can't I be in the show???

On Tuesday October 16th Ricky Martin, international superstar and former General Hospital actor, received the 2,351st star on the Hollywood Walk Of Fame. Honorary Mayor of Hollywood, Johnny Grant recognized the pop star for selling more that 55 million albums worldwide. Puerto Rico born Martin gained notoriety back in 1998 during the World Cup frenzy with his hit "La Copa de Vida", and of course "La Vida Loca". Since then Martin became a tireless advocate for impoverished and abused children, founding The Ricky Martin Foundation which has received international recognition in it's works. On hand for the presentation was Los Angeles Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa and Actress Rita Moreno.

I mocked this man for as long as I could for his lackluster tour on my favorite soap opera. Then he returned to prominence (in leather pants) in 1998, and I lost my mind. I still have.

Aye-yi-yi.

Happy Coming Out Day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The first annual National Coming Out Day was celebrated October 11, 1988 and now is remembered even more fondly in Gay History Month. We have so many reasons to celebrate and remember who we are and why we are here. If you haven't already, I recommend reading The Velvet Rage by Alan Downs, PH.D. This book will tell you exactly how creativity in it's mass is amassed from our self-repression and inner shame. It is fantastic in it's insights, pulled from years of interviews with men from all over the country. You won't be able to read it not find an element in your past the stymied you then, becoming a necessity in your well-being today. This comic strip by CT resident James Asal, Jr. is Adam And Andy; Two Men One Bed, You Do The Math. It's a great strip, especially today.

Live laugh and love my brothers and sisters, we are here for too short a time and let's not waste any if we can. Remember what's important, and don't forget to laugh. Here's some fodder at the straight community's expense that will give you rise in gayppreciation.

The Rights Of Fall. Manly men run shirtless, and like girls. Sexiest man alive, and not a bone in the wrist.

Usually so photogenic.

Usually she makes a great foto subject, and an unusually light cannelloni, but at this particular happy hour, the goddess fell flat. And not by way of tone, know what I mean? Mean, that's what I mean. Yikes.

Rabbit, rabbit.

Here we go again with a new month!!! And so much to look forward to. Columbus Day, My moms bday, Halloween and hopefully not confusing any of the above. I always like to look forward into the month with the air of optimism (and righteous indignation) (goes without saying.) When I do this I like to make sure that I have time on my side, right guard above that and a moderate supply of stimuli. Stimuli can be pharmaceutical, visual, aural, liquid, matter or not. I'm not fussy, just my shoes are. Also when I look forward I like to look back (never in anger) on the month prior and what struck my fancy.









Usually it's what's gay and amazing the month prior makes me smile. I won't even rip into the Senator from Idaho's behavior in/with the 'John'. Redefines going to the 'Can'. Or even the 'Head'. Though I could sit back and do it all day. It's definitely Old School Closet, he didn't even have the sense to bring a shopping bag to stand in(conspicuously) so as not to arouse suspicion while arousing whatever. Talk about bringing.................I'm done, he's not worth it.








Worth it though are the city of San Diego and it's Mayor. Jerry Sanders, former cop and now mayor of the country's eight largest city, reversed his position against supporting civil unions for equality for the gay and lesbian community. He and his city had held a conservative anti-measure stance until recent polls had proven the consensus had changed. In backing the new Civil Unions Measure he also revealed he would wish the same rights for everyone as he would his lesbian daughter, whom he also revealed to the public. The mayor spoke passionately and was inspirational in his address.

"In the end, I could not look any of them in the face and tell them that their
relationships - their very lives - were any less meaningful than the marriage
that I share with my wife, Rana," Sanders said.

Italy's Parliament decided in September to pursue a Civil Unions Bill in November. Like any good Italian masterpiece, these things take time, talk, more time, pasta, more talk and time until you see magnificent results. And in the pink shadow of the Vatican this is no easy feat. But everyone knows it's the size of the feat that can tell you the measure of the man. Funny on two levels Kent, funny on two. (Photo courtesy of the World Cup Champion Team Italia's spread for Dolce & Gabbana)














And as Europe strides lightyears (Buzz?) forward, the middle east again sticks it's 'head' in the 'sand'. (Two Kent, two) President Ahmadinejad of Iran announced that his country doesn't have any gays. Of course he announced this to raucous laughter at Columbia University in Manhattan. Who knew that the ostrich was as indigenous to Iran as Elaine Stritch is to New York? Maybe it's the country's national bird, flightless and sightless. Why were we not informed? All those feather boas that Drag queens have been using real ostrich feathers are so ironic now. Photo courtesy of AP.





And now for something completely useful, vodka. My time in Upstate New York solidified my love affair with cold distilled grain. At an Ice Party (a snowbank bar and a frozen-over lake) I bonded with a lively young lady L. L and I were fast friends as we worked together and held the same convictions; play as hard as you work and damn the critics. She also provided an introduction to one of the coolest ladies I know, her mother Zsa Zsa. L sent me this recently and I haven't stopped rolling, from the list, not the subject. Photo courtesy of Absolut Vodka.

1. 1. To remove a bandage painlessly, saturate the bandage with vodka. The solvent dissolves adhesive.
   2. To clean the caulking around bathtubs and showers, fill a trigger-spray bottle with vodka, spray the caulking, let set five minutes and wash clean. The alcohol in the vodka kills mold and mildew.
   3. To clean your eyeglasses, simply wipe t he lenses with a soft, clean cloth dampened with vodka. The alcohol in the vodka cleans the glass and kills germs.
   4. Prolong the life of razors by filling a cup with vodka and letting your safety razor blade soak in the alcohol after shaving. The vodka disinfects the blade and prevents rusting.
   5. Spray vodka on vomit stains, scrub with a brush, and then blot dry.
   6. Using a cotton ball, apply vodka to your face as an astringent to cleanse the skin and tighten pores.
   7. Add a jigger of vodka to a 12-ounce bottle of shampoo. The alcohol cleanses the scalp, removes toxins from hair, and stimulates the growth of healthy hair.
   8. Fill a sixteen-ounce trigger-spray bottle and spray bees or wasps to kill them.
   9. Pour one-half cup vodka and one-half cup water in a Ziploc freezer bag and freeze for a slushy, refreshable ice pack for aches, pain or black eyes.
   10. Fill a clean, used mayonnaise jar with freshly packed lavender flowers, fill the jar with vodka, seal the lid tightly and set in the sun for three days. Strain the liquid through a coffee filter, then apply the tincture to aches and pains.
   11. To relieve a fever, use a washcloth to rub vodka on your chest and back as a liniment.
   12. To cure foot odor, wash your feet with vodka.
   13 Vodka will disinfect and alleviate a jellyfish sting.
   14. Pour vodka over an area affected with poison ivy to remove the urushiol oil from your skin.
   15. Swish a shot of vodka over an aching tooth. Allow your gums to absorb some of the alcohol to numb the pain.