All things Oscar.

It's Superbowl Sunday here in Hollywood. The Academy Awards are on tonite, and hosted by Ellen DeGeneres. The limos are rented and lined up. They're propping up Joan for yet another bit of hilarity, adjective and swank implied. My frenchonion soup simmers and the clambake sits prepped to boil. The wine is chilled and I'm ready to laugh. Here are great things oscar to make you smile:

Giant sized trophies named Oscar.

Oscar the Grouch, muppet and bon vivant.

Oscar De La Hoya, ggrrrrr.

Veal Oscar

Recipe courtesy of Tyler Florence

Show:
Food 911
Episode:
Romantic Dinner For Two: Staten Island NY
1 bunch asparagus spears, ends trimmed 1 pound king crab legs Water White wine Lemon slices 1/2 cup flour 1 teaspoon salt 1/2 teaspoon black pepper 6 veal cutlets, lightly pounded 2 tablespoons butter, divided 1 shallot, chopped 1 tablespoon fresh tarragon, chopped 1 tablespoon olive oil
Blanch asparagus tips in simmering water, drain and set aside. Poach crab legs in water, white wine and lemon slices for 5 minutes, then shell with a crab cracker and reserve.
In a shallow dish combine flour, salt and pepper; coat pieces of veal. In a saute pan over medium heat, melt 1 tablespoon of butter and fry cutlets 3 minutes each side until golden brown. Remove the veal to a warm platter. Using the same pan, melt remaining butter. Stir in shallots and tarragon. Add olive oil, asparagus and crab. Saute 2 minutes to warm.
To serve: place asparagus and crab on top of each cutlet. Drizzle each with Bearnaise Sauce, recipe follows. Serve hot.
VARIATION: May substitute chicken or turkey cutlets for veal.
BEARNAISE SAUCE Recipe courtesy of Tyler Florence
1/4 cup fresh tarragon, chopped 2 shallots, minced 1/4 cup champagne vinegar 1/4 cup dry white wine 3 egg yolks 1 stick butter, melted Salt and pepper to taste
In a small saucepan, combine the tarragon, shallots, vinegar and wine over medium-high heat. Bring to a simmer and cook until reduced by half. Remove from heat and set aside.
Place a stainless steel bowl in a saucepan containing simmering water, or use a double boiler. Whisk the egg yolks until doubled in volume. Slowly add the melted butter, continue beating until sauce is thickened. Stir in reserved shallot reduction. Season with salt and pepper, set aside wrapped in a warm spot.
Serve with Veal Oscar. Yield: 1 cup

Knitty, Gritty, Dirtband.

The resurgance in pro-knitters has the world on pins, and needles. There is a yarn to be spun about these dedicated dilletantes whom offer the world the purls of their wisdom, and their scarves. An old addage has that a knitter should never make their loved one a sweater as it was a harbinger for the end of said relationship. Who knew the power of the thread was so absolute? The Greeks mytholigized that the human existance was actually a fabric woven by the Fates, higher beings than the gods themselves that garnered Life as we know it. Society has evolved by traditions and stories told around "sewing circles", inasmuch our nation was born on the lap of Betsy Ross. The creative process is pared down to no more simpler example than knitting; one length, changing into something completely different in a series of turns. Actually it reminds me of the Wonder Woman series from the 70's starring statuesque Linda Carter. I'll bet she knits. Julia Roberts does. Many people are still confused on the lyrics to the Wonder Woman tv show by Norman Gimbel and Charles Fox, so I've provided them for reference.

Wonder Woman Lyrics
Wonder Woman, Wonder Woman. All the world's waiting for you, and the
power you possess. In your satin tights, Fighting for your rights And the old
Red, White and Blue. Wonder Woman, Wonder Woman. Now the world is ready for you,
and the wonders you can do. Make a hawk a dove, Stop a war with love, Make a
liar tell the truth. Wonder Woman, Get us out from under, Wonder Woman. All our
hopes are pinned on you. And the magic that you do. Stop a bullet cold, Make the
Axis fall, Change their minds, and change the world. Wonder Woman, Wonder Woman.
You're a wonder, Wonder Woman

Gritty is such a great tactile word. It evokes an image of an unfinished end of 2' x 4', with the sawdust still around the perimeter of the fresh cut. Gritty is texture of a dipstick of an old neglected automobile forced to make a roadtrip. Gritty is a great word because it starts with a "grrr" and has two t's in the body of the word. Gritty rhymes with chitty which makes people think of the classic Dick Van Dyke movie Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. He was supposedly a raging alkie at this time and that some of the scenes show his hands shaking more than the car. I loved this movie because I thought the character of the Childcatcher was misunderstood; He was only a man doing a job with a certain amount of flair. And really weren't the streets alot quieter without those unattended crumbsnatchers? The movie is an american classic, it's a shame the musical blew chunks. Maybe it just needs a monkey twist, "Gritty Chitty Bang Band, a new revival"! It involves Jack Daniels, some hillbillies, and sending a car over the moon. Maybe this has been done already. Oh wait, Dukes of Hazzard did it in the seventies.

Dirtbands have long been a favorite of mine. Steve Miller, Bad Company, Alabama, Aerosmith, Pure Prarie League, Little River Band, Bob Seager, Santana. If there could be sawdust on the floor of a roadhouse playing this music, I could easily be found there. The simplicity of it all is very nurturing. And remember when you could smoke in a bar? That's a question like, "remember segregation?" the world changes so quickly. I'm glad to have cut my teeth on a diet of BB King and the Nitty Gritty Dirtband.

This post was a waxing nostalgic to the seventies and wax.

A little afternoon delight.

My first video, I feel like MTV.

Bananaland: The beginning.

"Come down from that hammock, Cosmo" cried Grandmonkeymomma.
"You need to bring these bananas to Mrs. Steptoe or her children will have no cake for dessert."
Cosmo, still groggy from his midday nap, fell from the treetops to the floral laden patio by Granmonkeymomma. His dreams of ballplaying and vineswinging were dashed by social responsibility. His Nana, a pillar in his homeown of Bananaland, had the most productive garden of fruits and vegetables who's bounty she doled in the spirit of sharing.
"Sharing is caring and blenders are Waring" she was often fond of saying between her third and fourth bananadaiquirinis.
Cosmo swung the bananas by the Steptoe's treehouse for he knew that sharing was caring and no cake was unimaginable. The Steptoe's porch was already heavy with gifts. They had just had little baby Grace born to them and all of Bananaland was sending congratulations. Cosmo left the bundle between a jug of honey and come sweetsmelling muffins. Nature was cyclical, "we're pulled and pushed through it by our will and good three fingered grip doesn't hurt," says Nana. Grandmonkeymomma's lessons in life stuck with him as he grew. His parents toured in the showbusiness for many months at a time and the responsibility of taking care of him and his siblings fell to her.
Cosmo sped back to home as he knew there would be more chores before dinner. He would assist in them so that everyone could eat together at the big table in the garden. No one could eat until all chores were done was one of the first rules learned here. The garden spanned two vineswings across and four long. It could have been considered a farm if it weren't also a source of entertainments for the family. Cosmo and twinsister, Annelle would often be found cabbagebowling down the rows. They would be playing hide and go seek through the polebeans and appledodging the spinners thrown by older brother Quentin and his cronies, all the while Grandmonkeymomma had luncheons for her friends and their friends. It was a gathering place, it was a gathering time. Bananland. Bananaland. Just saying the word instills such peace. Bananaland.

Always remember, little monkeys, "Bananas from Nana are nourishing manna."

I'm looking, Clover. The Endstory.

In accordance with the prophecy,
I have placed the shamrock in solitary confinement in hopes it will return to life in several weeks. Zombie planting. Stay tuned.

Can Do In the Wind.

I know that Elton re-wrote a song for Princess Diana to commemorate her passing, and I would never suggest anything so profound for Anna Nicole. I will suggest that her bizarre existance and monumental accomplishments from the slums of Texas not be ignored. Gumption is my favorite spice of life, second to Volume. I will divulge the entire TonySpats Spice Rack To Life soon. Maybe Prince can coin something apropos, or the recently reunited GoGo's may. Judging from the media play that is following her exit something extraordinary is necessary. Call Bono. Or Madonna as Blonde Ambition is her trademark, and Anna's work ethic might seem remotley similar. Guess? You betcha. The first Whitetrash Demi-God.

Larger than life.

Anna Nicole Smith, model, spokesperson, actress, celebrity, and mother died today in Hollywood, FL at the HardRock Casino Hotel. Two lessons here, bad things happen in FL and don't do meth. She's been described as everyone's favorite car wreck at the corner of Crazy Street and White Trash Avenue, which is how I hope to remember her. As tragic as the loss is to lose someone so young, 39 you can't help but remark on how far she went. She went just a bit too far this time. The comfort is that she's with her son whom she loved so much. And her second husband, Howard Marshall.

The Speaker has teeth.

I don't know if I like Nancy Pelosi because she's the first female speaker of the House or because she's Italian. I definately appreciate her because she doesn't fear much. She's recently come under fire from the Department of Defense for supposedly asking for a larger plane. Don't the Department of Defense have other, burning, issues they should be contending with? But catch her response via CNN:

"Why would the Department of Defense be putting forth any of this information,
which is misinformation and mischaracterization of a request by the Sergeant at
Arms [of the US House] for security? I know that it is not coming from the
president of the United States because he has really been insistent that I have
the security that I need. And I myself would rather not have security.So, no we
haven't asked for any larger plane.B, this is not my request, it is a request of
the Sergeant at Arms.C, I don't know why they would say this was necessary for
the previous speaker but it's not necessary for you. And that's what the
Department of Defense seems to be saying. So if you want to take it to a
place... I'm not saying I'm being discriminated against because I'm a woman, I'm
just saying I have no intention of having any less respect for the office I hold
than all of the other speakers who have gone before me."

Ted Haggard no longer faggard.

Yesterday the news came down the pike that after three weeks in therapy Ted Haggard is "completely heterosexual." Usually this is the amount of time I need to shake off cigarettes, an oral fixation as well. I would never put down another man's accomplishments in defeating a vice, or a vice grip by a meth-fueled male order groom, but I got to say this looks a little suspect. It must be some three week program to shake off a three year relationship with a male prostitute that was so based on chemistry. Perhaps he's found some alternative to rock and cock the tragic sins that ruined his ministry life. Maybe he's been able to transfer his desires to a new found passion like gardening or baking or maybe just maybe he's found religion (again). I hear that Isaiah Washington leads the cast of 'Grey's' in pre-show sing-a-longs, maybe there is something to this quicky rehab that's all the rage. We wish him well in constructing this new tower of Babel, that he may find a closer communication process with his God. Everyone knows how well the original tower worked out. Hey Ted, take it from an accomplished quitter; sweets are cheaper and more satisfying in beating addiction. And none of that nasty meth-mouth.

What is this? Sarcasm?

I pronounce the Clover dead, I arrange the room around it's departure and I cry at the cruelty of the universe. I pray, I sway and, well, you can substitute your own rhyme here. Just when I write off my baby a little sprout emerges. It's right in front of it's sagging cousin in the photo. Replete with little leaves, it turns to face the sun. What is this a bout? I'm ready to put my shamrock in the closet. Not that I would ever advocate this in any other circumstance, but my shamrock needs to be put away. Wini, more on her soon, is my mentor in making things and making things grow. She's been with me since the tomato seeds from Italy episode, to the ballad of the burned out begonia. My sweet Mother Nature told me that clovers need to be put away for awhile to rest and dry out. Like Mark Foley in FL, if your stick it in the EZ Fake Oven, it will emerge clean with sheen, on the scene. Remember, Isaiah Washington went to rehab and look at him now......................

Rabbit, rabbit.

The second of the year, and we're still here. That just smacks of optimism, don't cha think?
With the world getting colder where it's not expected and warmer everywhere else, Global Warming is the harbinger of destruction. But on a happy note, ground hogs day is around the corner.

Let's start the month with recognizing the bravery it takes to live your life, and your commercially successful life; Out. There's always been buzz around the lead singer for Indie smash hit Bloc Party's lead singer Kele Okereke. Since their debut recording of Silent Alarm the questions have circulated about the alluring young androgenous man. In January Kele let the public know, "That he likes the gents". Kudos to the man that is a gay, black young indierock aritist, now out. Maybe a role model like this will stop the hatred and violence on successful ABC primetime sets. Sweet, petite and to the meat.

Speaking of meat, dvd culture enjoys itself some easter eggs and drives fans around the disc looking for the hidden prizes. Easter eggs are bonus features usually hidden in dvd's to drive the fan's interest in the project. Sometimes they can be alternative endings, sometimes additional scences. The recent trailer of the Marvel's Fantastic Four 2; Rise Of The Silver Surfer had the digital artisits installing some easter eggs already, or are they a trick of the lighting. It would certainly seem that it would take balls to surf throught rush hour bridge and tunnel traffic and did the animators give the Surfer a set? Could they send some over to ABC, the home for homophobia? The CGI is wild on this upcoming summer blockbuster, and hopefully this time around they'll bring a script to help in making the movie.

Rabbit, rabbit. A good month to us all. A short one, but hopefully a great one. Peace, y'all.