Now we have an election. (you heard me)

So Barack Obama wants to bring change to the United States so he chooses a running mate that's been in the senate for 25 years. Bully for him. John McCain wants to spruce up his stodgy image so he chooses a little known lady for his running mate, the governor of Alaska; Sara Something. 'Who?' you ask, rest assured she has great qualifications, pundits declare superior to Barack. I'll bet if you poll the majority of Alaskans, they won't even know Sara Palin's name. Fortunately she's a lifelong member of the NRA, with a hot husband to boot. But if McCain is going after the gay vote, he may have something here. She bears an striking resemblance to a very dear role model. Our community can often get distracted with the shiny pretty things.

Thanks to Towleroad for this ditty, I haven't stopped laughing.

Weekend starts now.

The holiday weekend marks the end of the furious ten weeks that are the summer. It's in this time that servers everywhere view the underbelly of society and bring them bread. When we all finally hit Labor Day weekend that we realize that we've also hit the wall. All patience gone, all senses on hyper alert food servers everywhere can snap at any given moment. I hope everyone takes a rest from the labors of the day and catches their breath.

Sista Sal and I used to have the nicest little barbecue as the summer people would load up their suv's with their kids/dogs/elderly to make their way back to NY NJ or whatever part of Hell they came from. The barbecue would include happy hour on the front lawn. We would sit in our folding chairs and toast the departure of the demons that tied up our roads, polluted our waters and drove up all the prices relevant to cost of living on the CT Shoreline (Yankee Key West) There would be a sigh of relief as we made it through another summer, grateful for fortunes made, at what price our sanity and immortal souls. Have a cold one America.

Are you shitting me?

Overheard at a popular fish joint on the PCH in Malibu ("The Bu");

Waiter: We have naturally farm-raised King Salmon from British Columbia....
Woman: Excuse me, how do they raise salmon on a farm?
Waiter: Uhhhhhhhhh..........

Balthazar.

People are curious to know why I chose 'Balthazar' for a name for a tattoo and I just want to tell you my reasonings. I tend to Trojan Horse my symbols, I like to pile on the meanings in a layered effect. A lot like Benetton.

Did you know balthazar is a type of wine bottle? There are different names for bottles of wine as they go, and many of them have biblical connotations. Balthazar was a widely believed name of one of the Three Wisemen. Larger denominations of wine go as follows (in liters):

Magnum: 1.5

Marie Jeanne 2.25

Double Magnum 3.00

Jeroboam: 3.00

Rehoboam 4.5

Imperial/Methuselah 6.0

Salmanazar 9.0

Balthazar 12.00

Nebuchadnezzar 15.0

Melchior 18.00

Solomon 20.0

Sovereign 25.0

Primat 27.0

Melchizedek 30.0

Maximus 130.0

Balthazar is also the name of Balthazar Getty, one of the prettiest men alive. I've loved this man since he was an actor in the short lived night time soap 'Pasadena'. Such a great show, by Mike White ("Chuck and Buck") Aaahh, Balthazar. It's a shame he's such a cad. And he's related to the family of J. Paul Getty, art collector extraordinaire whose museums fill with such joy. He's an attention getter.

Balthazar is also the name of a trendy restaurant in New York. It's regal European feel immediately became a jewel to the foodies in Metropolis, who's tastes have now meandered back to their French roots. A top drawer bistro-inspired oasis, Balthazar draws interest from all over Manhattan for pomme frittes, moulles, and amazing baked goods. Oh, and a wine list that begs you to move in to try it all. . Balthazar was recently replicated here in Santa Monica as Anisette. A nice copy, but a copy none the less. Aaaah, the french.

Of course I chose a monkey. Obvious as a pig in a parlor. And a flying monkey? For the Wizard of Oz tour, my first professional job and "Wicked" being the sensation of recent memory. And on my back? You can draw your own conclusions.

Just a little education in my psyche, to pass the day away. You may surf on. xoxo

Off the Gaycharts; I just wanna f*cking dance.

Dear Jo Jo sent me this. Jo Jo and I go way back to our early twenties. She's married with a house and a son and I'm still in my early twenties. We saw each other come out. We've seen each other fall down. We make each other laugh and know when some one's peeing on our leg and telling us it's raining. She's a good gal and a purveyor of funny.

And to day in no exception. The link below to the video is a hoot and a holler. It's off the homohook. Even if you have an iota of flair in your straighty mcstraight dna, you'll groove on this. Reboot your dngay in fact. Click the link you pink. You'll be glad you did. Love you Jo Jo.




http://www.dailymotion.com/video/143001

bff

It's strange what makes me tick. I'm not one for being starstruck, but when it takes me stand back, here comes a gush. I have a soft spot for General Hospital alums and underdogs in general. Being in Los Angeles you trip over celebs. My first sighting was Peter Gallagher at a party I was bar tending at on my fourth day here. Nice man, goofy eyebrows but a nice guy. J and I tripped over Loni Anderson at a Big 5 sports store. Goldie and Kurt come to our restaurant in Malibu now and again. So do many other celebs. J ran into Mario Lopez in a bathroom in the Valley and confirmed that he is a jerk. Quite frankly, I see Cuba Gooding more often than my neighbor. I'm forever tripping over him in Los Angeles to the point where I can see in his face he's trying to remember where he knows me from. Enough Cuba! Yesterday I had my best one yet. Monica.

The Lewinski family came in for dinner and brought my jaw to the floor. Here's the girl who held her head up as many were trying to hold it down (joke) and faced a nation's worth of scorn and ridicule. Anyone that can stand up to that and still go on is pretty impressive to me. We've all made bad decisions in our past and we have to get over them. If we don't we won't learn and will probably repeat them. This was a young intern who was shredded by the media and the politico machine for doing a president. Like this has never happened before. Anywho. I allowed myself my little gush to her as she left my table telling her 'I'm a big fucking fan....." with appropriate gush afterwards. She was sweet as can be. A celebrity and a decent girl. And yes the family knows how to tip, take a lesson middle America and Europe. That alone redeems her poor judgment. It's one thing to be slutty, it can be forgiven. Being cheap however, that will follow

you. I love my new bff.

Rabbit, rabbit.

Say it loud, say it crowd. Bring in the luck and usher down the silly, we have a new month to celebrate. August is a dreamy little time where summer wraps itself up and introduces the fall. It can be sad for some, but to me it's a happy time.


It's been a great summer, work aside. I've been able to reconnect with a number of old friends. I've lunched and brunched. I've seen some good theatre, and some great movies. If you haven't seen Mamma Mia, you need your head examined. Such fun. And now I ready myself to go to the Cape and play with other test subjects for Spatagram. My family is a constant source of amusement and material. With all of them present it should be just like olive season in Tuscany, shake the trees and gather up the sheets when done. Maybe nuts are the more apt metaphor. I came across this great photo which shows the time passing in Los Angeles, film capital of the world. It's funny on many levels. Have a great day and a better month.





"Flamingo, like a flame in the sky."-Kiki and Herb