Special Guest Star: Robin Hood!!!

Primetime Television held different value when I grew up. It was more personal and special. It was a visitor to entertain the family in the evening and provider of deprogramming from the perils of the world. Mind you this is before Xanax and Cable. Back in those days, Special Guest Stars brought such merit to tv shows, you might even sit up a bit straighter, lest they see you slouch. Special Guest Stars were whipped cream on nipples and cherries on cake. Again, this was tv before Xanax or Cable. Spatagram's very first Special Guest Star knows alot about tv, cable and Xanax. Our first Special Guest Star is Mr Hood.

To publish his photo would be criminal, as he is. He steals from the rich (scum), gives to the poor (blessed) and does so with all the gentille grace and charm of the Robin Hood of fiction. First and foremost he's a gentleman with manners almost as good as his taste. It's good breeding followed by an education at The School Of Hard Knox that made Mr. Hood the pinnacle of manHood that he is now. He's articulate, artistic, capable, creative and enterprising. He's steadfast, loyal, funny and foul. He's everything you would want from a contemporary metrosexual without the fuss and drama. His sensibilities would almost seem fey if they were viewed from a distance. That is so not the case. Mr. Hood (as he is regarded since Day 1) is a straight arrow but not narrow. His time among thieves and queens made him know that people are all equal in the great Sherwood Forrest, it's just that some people have class and some do not (even those born into it). Mr Hood teaches his band of Merry Men the greatest lessons. Most can't be repeated even in Spatagram but the Special Guest Star wanted to share his theory on;

Queen For A Day.

There are hurdles we all cross to mark life experience. You can't drive a car until you are sixteen and are licensed. You must register for the draft at eighteen. You can't legally consume alchohol until you are twenty one. You must be a Notary Public to officiate documents. There has long been a dream that everyone must work in a restaurant for ninety days to obtain the privelage of dining out. Mr Hood has created the concept that straight people could understand Life alot better if they were a Queen for a day, and he doesn't mean a notarized queen. He means a motorized queen. A fabulous array of artistic and musical gifts are typical of gay people. Flair play and fair play abounding, the straight person is made gay and made to feel the beat of the Gay World. How Jesse Helms would look dancing with his hands snapping, way over his head, glow sticks poking out of his Lucky Brand Jeans. How Rush Limbaugh would enjoy trying some of our designer gay drugs. Yes, we have better toys, drugs, clothes and food. We know Armani, panini and Judy. Being Gay usually means you double your wardrobe. We earn more, we spend more and have been proven to be better bosses. Our social attributes almost outweigh our materialistic, but then again we're a Prada of our environment.

We can flatter, coax, cajole or protect in words and deeds. By the same token we can go cruel, cold and vicious when provoked. Our words have been forged in the fires of Irony. We've been the subject of scorn since the middle ages and yet we have molded society. Our tribe members built empires, painted masterpieces and cured disease. We're narcistic, but what's wrong with being self-motivated when you leave monuments. Some people tear down cultures while we preserve, and pickle. Being gay increases your skill sets and hightens your sensitivities. You no longer stagger brashly through the Universe, ignorant to your surroundings. When you need to be aware that a fraction of society wants to attack you in ferocity because of who Life chooses you to love; your senses sharpen. You harken to protect yourself and your loved ones. Constant vigilance is annoying, but what you learn on the way, provocative.

Learning hurts, Fame costs and right here's where you start paying, in sweat. After people are tortured for a while they must put on a dress, or suit depending. We learn how to function in disaster, but we should finish in style. They should understand gender from the other side. They should lose all sense of self in drag drug and dredge. They should dance in a tribal fashion with their peers. They should love and lose. They should gain and garner. Life needs to be lived spherically, in all directions otherwise all experiences are limited. Gays learn to frolic, Fendi, and to fend for ourselves.

Queen For A Day is a phenomenal idea. I don't think it could be administered as universally as the country needs it but if we could begin, one straight road at a time, we may find that real women have curves. Now that's funny on three levels. (you heard me Kent) Many thanks Robin Hood to the straightegy of Queen For A Day, I loved it and think the readers will too.