The End Of Gracious Living.

When Martha Stewart decides to leave CT we must all take a moment to evaluate the relentless pursuit of perfection in our own lives. Martha inspired a generation, amassed an empire, fell from grace only to rise again. Inspirational indeed. This bull-ish determination, bordered with lovely hydraengas, sold a lofty ideal to us all; we can be better, and more so, better than our neighbors. We can garden, bake, sew, bill, and relax more aptly than the next guy and we've got the trophies to prove it. On our refinished knotty pine walls of the new family room (formerly mudroom) we have the heads of the Joneses that have come and gone in our competitive lifestyling. "Oh, and that one over there is replication of John the Baptist, reproduced in cream cheese and enamel for our Salome Dance-off fundraiser for the kids' school." Competition breeds excellence and Martha lit the match, a long, recycled, birch, hand-made match near a restored fireplace in Westport, CT. A house called Turkey Hill on 4.3 acres available to you all for the asking price of $8,995,00.00. Race ya?

Vocab list.

Try to introduce these retro phrases into life.

A. Douchebag; pretty self-explanatory and so versatile, " You cut me off, Douchebag!" "What a douchebag, no I didn't file the taxes on time." "Hey, Douchebag, get over here and give me a kiss."

B. Ginormous; of an immense property. A hybrid of gigantic and enormous, "The Disney Musical Hall is ginormous", "The ginormous swimming pool was inviting and off-limits" "Ginormous! That chalupa is ginormous!"

C. Ridonculous: A more phallic suggesting version of ridiculous, summoning a more primal sense of stupidity. "Ridonculous. Those, Fuller-brush salesman getting into a spat with the tupperware ladies was ridonculous", "I cant believe all those ridonculous people in the middle of the country voted for George W. Bush twice", "Monster truck shows are not only ridonculous, but proof that ignorance breeds rednecks."

The advantage of blogging is the creation aspect. New words abound daily. How else would celebrities know what they are being called in the trades if they don't look to the blogs first. Do they think that publicity agents are sharp enough to create "benniffer"? Blogs are the new orchards for literary enhancement. Newspapers have dropped the ball and cyberspace grabbed the game. If you ever are at a loss for words, click here. You may find an old favorite (douchebag), or new favorites (ginormous, ridonculous). Shake the tree, find a fruit.

X-hibitions

X-three-ment

Honestly, I was embarrassed for all involved in the latest X-movie, "The Last Stand". For the actors paid to say those terrible lines, follow the ill conceived direction and sacrifice the integrity of the prior two movies. I was embarrassed for the audience lulled in to the theatre with the promise of quality entertainment to be babysealclubbed with a cheesefactory. This movie makes "Poseidon" look good. Whorrible, the entire project. I disagreed with so much about it, I didn't even like Hugh Jackman's facial hair. I had only one question, WHERE WAS STAN LEE AND MARVEL COMICS??????? How could this happen to such a beloved storyline and franchise? Someone please take away Brett Ratner's movie directing license, and no one talk about this film ever again.

Confessional

"Tony and Joe, you havent come to my last two shows in Los Angeles, you no longer have excuses. Lourdes will not sleep until she thanks her two fave uncles for the matching knit hats and booties. How clever with the use of velcro. Jean Paul was impressed. See you two tommorrow,I know where you're sitting. Expect the show to be just to the two of you. I love you both. Rocco says, 'Urrp!'. Whatever that means. Send Brittney those numbers for nannies I sent you for your sister. The little mouseketeer REALLY needs some help."

Madonnathon...................

Our first lady of sole. Full of grace, and will, makes her tour opening tommorrow in Los Angeles. Tuesday we get to hear Confessions and I for one intend to dance my ass off. I'm hung up............................

May dis

I'll never get over how fast this month disappears. I always blink at spring's end and find myself smack in the middle of summer. "Hello. Did the month beginning with an 'm' just come and go?" I love the fact that it's name is a allowance. "May I.." "Yes. You May." It's approval. It's greenlight. It's gone. Bummer.

Kissing babies and pressing flesh.

We all "run for office" on occasion, meaning that we press the flesh, schmooze, stroke, kiss-ass, cajole, flatter and do gosh knows whatelse to attain our desires. We know that progress is more important than stagnation. Some of us do this better than others, and some refuse to do this because they believe that it would compromise their integrity. I'm sorry, but if you can't work a room then you can't work yourself. Social skills are so important in todays society. So many situations arise when a "herds mentality" is the driving social vibe and you have the choice, lead or follow. You can not properly lead, if you dont know how to communicate to all in the herd, including the smart, the slow, etc. Some people recognize authority, some quality, some humor, some just need a little tlc. If you can communicate quickly and succinctly you have a greater chance of moving the herd where you want them. A little grease goes a long way. Never forget this. Crowd control involves more than wooden horses and yellow tape.

Scripture, Scripts, and Scripts. Followed by Rapture, Rap, and Rapini

Scripture is anything written, basically. It's wider received as an authoritative body of writing, maybe considered sacred. I know what I believe and I house my own church within my own heart, head and body. From this church I hope to produce scripture. Scripts are bodies of writing that impose narrative for scenarios. Also used as texts for screenplays, stageplays and broadcasts. I hope to produce scripts from said church to also illuminate scenarios. Scripts are slang for prescriptions which are directed by your doctor and doled out by your pharmacist. The prescriptions provide you with state-altering medicines that will improve your outlook. I love a good script. Somewhere between these three lies my creative process. A small bean that will grow an amazing plant that all will feed off and take sustenance. A giant beanstalk of entendre and entertainment, I only hope the cage is strong enough to support the plant.

Rapture is a feeling of bliss, Rap is a huge music market I will never succeed in, and Rapini is a vegetable that looks like broccoli and aids in digestion. All three of these go right through me.

The coming of the Next Testament....

I'm in preproduction of writing scripture. I want to take the lessons learned in those challenging episodes of NBC's doomed "The Book Of Daniel" and translate them into reality. We have a need for a doctrine that enables ALL PEOPLE to love, live and leave a lasting legacy. We have a need to provide for the common man, promote the general welfare, secure the blessings of liberty. Somewhere between a constitution and conclave, a new scripture is warranted.Putting a name to this gospel doesnt seem fair. I am brash and arrogant but not really conceited enough to promote a gospel according to me. I dont find that fair. I'm not a divinity student so I dont think it's my place to write a gospel. I am however, a yahoo known for backing the underdog and darkhorse candidates and thus I think, apt to write the Next Testament. If we take the precepts found in the Old mix it with the New, borrow some insight and serve it something blue, we may have a marriage worthy of calling it a marriage. Where all parts are equal, respectful and devoted. Do unto others as you would have done to you. This is all we need to know. The Golden Rule. I intend to recreate society, in a better image, for our children's children. There is a need right now for us to unite and recreate our homes, we can only do this if we set aside hate. We cant afford to let our children die in the street, this is the land where the streets were rumored to be paved with gold.

Sundayfunday

A good sunday starts at noon when you can no longer feel your ass in bed. You've read the newspaper and have heard all the jazz you can stand for the week. Pull dinner out of the freezer to thaw in the sink. You stroll to the park for a leisurely run taking careful notice of the different varieties of trees that there are. You notice the clever repositioning of the homeless and compliment them as you pass. You return home to lunch/nap/water the plants. Oh my, yes it's two o'clock and someone needs a nap........................

New

Swimming Is The New Martini.

Creepy

I have this bizarre urge to cheer for the hometeam. I may need to consult a specialist about this. I thinks I'm a Phil J fan, and not a Kobe. GO LAKERS!!!!!!!!!

posing in l.a.

Tell me why people wear sunglasses after 7 pm. Illuminate me why women turn sideways and can be obscured from view. Why is it jeans cost more than trousers and smaller portions of food are three times the price. Posing with pretention is a full time job out here, you need credit to gain it. Why should a no talent, moron who can barely string multi colored beads together let alone intelligent words in a sentence, be on the cover of so many magazines? Let Paris burn, and while we're at it, throw her dog on top of the pyre, tiny dogs were soooo last year.

It's a little bit funny, this feeling inside, I'm not one of those who can easily hide......................

He started his hypocrisy with that lyric, aint that a shame. I'm back and I'm in charge. My funny is free and you should roll in it like a golden retriever in a mound of do-do. This new scent is all you need. ROll ya bastards, ROll.

Love to love ya. Come back soon.

xoxooxobnoxiousoxoxoxooxoxoxox